Thursday, November 24, 2011

I'm Thankful For....

Instead of me going on and on about what I’m thankful for this year, I decided to devote my space this week for others to vent before the holiday. Thank you. I agree, that’s quite a gesture on my part. But there’s always what was really said, and what we know they wanted to say. So to celebrate the Thanksgiving season, I’ve compiled the Thanksgiving edition of “What We Wish They Said”.

“And y’all gave me hell about some tattoos. Told ya it could’ve been worse!”- Jim Tressel, currently consulting for the 0-10 Indianapolis Colts, former Ohio State head coach, ’02 BCS National Champion, 12x Coach of the Year

“They just boys bein’ boys, man. We over here poppin’ bottles, puffin’ Bubble Kush and paying dimes for a good time, then you got Sandusky towel fightin’ and showering with little leaguers? What the hell that white dude thinkin’? Now dat is a lack of institutional control!” –Nevin Shapiro, Ponzi schemer, convicted felon and Miami booster who allegedly gave $2 million in illegal benefits to athletes at the University of Miami. Side note: Miami this past weekend removed themselves from bowl eligibility because of the violations; their game on Saturday versus Boston College will be their season finale.

“Honey, I’m gonna be gone for a few days. With the economy like this I can’t currently afford Christmas presents just yet, so I’ll be in Atlanta for a bit. If there’s any game a gullible Georgia fan will pay 4x the ticket price to see live it’ll be this one.” --Every third-party ticket seller for the SEC Championship game as the Georgia Bulldogs--and their fans--head to the Georgia Dome playing the “nobody believes in us!” card.

“Really guys, NC State?!?!?! Are you trying to get me killed?!?! You know it’s a contract year for me!! If you don’t get your act together and make everybody think I’m a good coach again I’m going to throw a fit every day during bowl week. That’s right, a first rate hissy fit. You got that?!?!” –Dabo Swinney, Head coach of the Clemson Tigers, who somehow fumbled their way out of national title contention. Programming alert: If you are from the Southeast you already know to replace ‘somehow’ with ‘predictably’.

“Jay Cutler broke his thumb!!! Jay Cutler broke his thumb!!! Our season might be saved after all!” – Any member of the Atlanta Falcons organization or fan base

“God bless you.”–Tim Tebow, Denver Broncos quarterback, former Florida Gator, and all-around great guy who stands for more than the average guy can understand, so he catches grief for it. As far as I can tell this is really what he’s thinking.

Games of the Week

Green Bay @ Detroit-Thursday-12:30p-FOX

There is much anticipation for this one. Haven’t said that for quite some time.

No. 3 Arkansas @ No. 1 LSU-Friday-2:30p-CBS

Isn’t having the Top 3 teams in the nation from not only the same conference, but from the same division ridiculous? SEC WEST! SEC WEST! SEC WEST!

Aquinas vs. Landmark Christian-Friday-7:30p

The Irish are continuing to leave their imprint on the school record books. Keep up the good work, boys.

No.13 Georgia @ No.23 Georgia Tech-Saturday-High Noon-ESPN

“I know I’m asking a lot you guys, but hunker it down one more time!”

No.17 Clemson @ No.12 South Carolina-Saturday-7:45p-ESPN

Tommy Bowden made a living underachieving with Clemson, but at least he knew how to beat Carolina. Dabo is in a contract year, you best believe a loss here will rearrange some of the digits around on that paper.

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